This Plain-Text Email Made Me $12,813 – 4X More Than Any Campaign I’ve Ever Sent

No design. Just brutal, high-performing copy that revives dead lists and crushes benchmarks.

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

Let Me Be Brutally Honest

We thought we had our email marketing figured out.

  • Flows? Set.

  • Campaigns? Scheduled.

  • Open rates? Not bad.

  • Revenue? Decent.

But then we sent one plain-text email… and it crushed everything. It made $12,813 in 24 hours — over 4X our average campaign revenue. We thought it was a fluke. So we sent another. Same style. Same tone. Same timing.

Boom — same insane results. That’s when we realized something that changed everything:


The emails we thought were “good enough” … were quietly costing us thousands.

Most store owners don’t need more traffic or more discounts.

They need to unlock the list they already have — the people who stopped clicking, stopped buying, stopped responding. This one email did exactly that. And here’s the best part:

We didn’t stop at one.

We created 4 total versions — each using a different psychological angle.

You’re not getting just a “template.”

You’re unlocking a repeatable system you can rotate, test, and automate. That’s how we turned one ugly email into an entire profit engine.

You Can’t Argue With Revenue.

  • Email #1: $12,813 in 48 hours

  • Email #2: 3.5X revenue vs. average campaign

  • Email #3: 6X better performance on a cold list

  • Email #4: 5X ROI from a quick plain-text send

“I thought our emails were already optimized. This one made us 4X more. No images, no BS.”

I’ve sent over 10,000 emails across 6 brands. I’ve A/B tested everything – subject lines, flows, design, offers.

But then this one ugly email – literally just text – made over $12,000 in two days.

I thought it was a mistake. But we tested it again. And again. And we realized:

Everything we thought we knew about email... needed to change.

So I created a full bundle with all 4 variations, send strategy, and subject lines – and now I’m sharing it.

Let Me Be Brutally Honest

You’ll get:

  • The exact email that made $12,813

  • 3 additional tested & optimized variations

  • Subject lines + preview text for all 4

  • Bonus: 1 SMS version that lifted conversions by 18%

  • Send strategy (who, when, and how)

  • Compatible with Klaviyo, Mailchimp, Shopify, WooCommerce, and more

  • Requires ZERO design

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

This Works Whether You're Crushing It – or Struggling.

  • You’re sending weekly emails – but results are just "meh"

  • Your list is cold and barely clicks

  • You don’t know what to send next or feel stuck

We’ve been there.

Joker Emails are built for all 3 scenarios – and they win, fast.

These Seem Small – But They’re Killing Your Revenue.

  • Thinking fancy design = better performance

  • Overcomplicating segmentation instead of sending

  • Only emailing when there’s a discount or holiday

  • Ignoring plain text because it “looks boring”

We did all of them.

Until one ugly email made $12,813.

Now we just stick with what works.

What Real Store Owners Are Saying

You’re Getting a Proven, Plug-and-Play System

  • The $12,813 plain-text email (copy/paste ready)

  • 2 additional variations with unique angles

  • Subject lines + body copy + SMS add-on

  • Behind-the-scenes breakdown: timing, audience, and segmentation

  • Bonus: Campaign Launch Checklist

Price: $37 💬 “Worth at least $197 – yours today for just $37.”

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

Questions? We Got Answers

 Is this for me if I already send emails?

Absolutely. Even if you’re sending weekly campaigns and automations, these templates will outperform what you’re doing now — we’ve tested it over and over.

What platform does it work with?

Anything: Klaviyo, Mailchimp, ActiveCampaign, Shopify, WooCommerce, even manual sending tools.

Do I need a designer?

Nope. These are plain-text campaigns. No graphics, no HTML needed — and that’s exactly why they work so well.

Can I send this right away?

Yes. You’ll get instant access. Just copy, personalize, and send.

Stop Settling for

Average Email Revenue

We did all of them.

Until one ugly email made $12,813.

Now we just stick with what works.

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

30-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

What you would get:

  • The exact email that made $12,813

  • 3 additional tested & optimized variations

  • Subject lines + preview text for all 4

  • Bonus: 1 SMS version that lifted conversions by 18%

  • Send strategy (who, when, and how)

  • Compatible with Klaviyo, Mailchimp, Shopify, WooCommerce, and more

  • Requires ZERO design

Get Instant Access Today!

Normally $120

Only $37

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